4/11/23
For the past couple weeks I have been anxious and honestly really scared to go into the anatomy scan for this lil girl. Lots of triggers. 20 weeks is when we found out Phoenix was missing a lung, and it’s also when we found out for sure that I would be losing baby A (from the twin pregnancy with Ryder). But miraculously, I woke up extremely calm. I literally felt I had angels giving me big hugs. Specifically my grandpa Simmons, my great grandma Huber, and Phoenix.
I had scheduled it for first thing in the morning which was nice to just “get it over with”. Kevin came with me, and the ultrasound tech was super sweet and told us everything looked right on schedule and growth was great-actually measuring 2 days ahead. Haha that’s always great news😂.
Im feeling super super relieved and happy🙏🏼💛. The only thing we didn’t get a better look at was her nose bone (so like a straight on view or profile) and a different angle of the heart. But the tech was pretty confident that everything was okay and she wasn’t worried about it. We’ll get another ultrasound in 4 weeks to check on it when I go in again.
Also we talked delivery💃🏼 and are looking at about 37 weeks and Tuesday August 8th for a scheduled c-section!😍
Needless to say I am so happy right now. I’m extremely aware of all that can go wrong and it truly feels like the biggest blessing right now to just have no scary issues with baby girl. BUT it’s hard. Hard because I almost feel guilty feeling so relieved when I know about the other side and all the intense heartache that comes with…not this diagnosis. My mind has for sure wandered back today, to those dark moments when we received the news about losing Phoenix, and the gut wrenching sadness I felt when I miscarried twins at 9 weeks.
This feeling I feel now is just gratitude.
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