Pregnancy Three: What's Happened So Far

Well sheesh.

Here it is July, and I am already 24 weeks along...with absolutely NO pregnancy updates typed up here on the family blog.

What is going on with me?!

I have actually been dying to write and update over here,

and still have a ton of back-posting/catchup to do,

but I really really feel a strong need to write about this third pregnancy so far.

I'll give you all the fun deets,

and then go into maybe a little more detail.

So sit put if you like details :)

How far along: 24 weeks

Total weight gain: 20 lbs. started at 107, and am now 127. pretty typical for me, i always hate seeing that scale climb, but am glad i get this opportunity to even BE pregnant. so no complaints!

Maternity clothes: uh, yes and no. i'm mostly using what i already have (what i've bought in the past with my other pregnancies).

Stretch marks: hah! i don't know, i don't look for them-i don't notice any crazy new ones...so...

Sleep: could be better. i don't remember it being so hard, this early with my first two. but this time around i really just toss and turn a LOT. Kevin loves it....not at all.

Best moment of this week: just feeling this little miss move around, letting me know she's still here

Miss anything: well, being fit. ha! i compare a lot to where i was physically this time last year, and get frustrated that i'm not. or that my running time just slowly creeps up and up and up. oh and i do miss being able to bend over comfortably!

Movement: yes! thank goodness. i always get worried when she's still!

Food cravings: not any for the past few weeks. the first trimester it was all fast food junk, and i'd make Kevin go grab me McGriddles from McDonalds allll the time. Food cravings are the worst!

Anything making you queasy or sick: well, i ate an avacado and immediately threw it right back up. like literally the second i finished it, i turned around to my toilet (i was eating in my room with Bronx during quiet time), and started barfing. Poor Bronx saw the whole thing and kept saying to me: "Mom! don't eat those! They make you sick!" haha. haven't touched one since!

Have you started to show yet: definitely!

Gender: girl! i think we were all expecting boy, while Tinley kept saying girl when she was asked what she "wanted".

Labor signs: no way!

Belly button in or out: uh, out....flatish?

Wedding rings on or off: on

Happy or moody most of the time: This is such a great question. I think that I really try to be a happy person most of the time, but lately i've truly just been sad or depressed or worried. not so wonderful, right? Let me tell you why. At my first ultrasound (the main one/the gender reveal one), it was hard for the ultrasound tech to get the images she needed to make sure everything was progressing normally and okay. As I was sitting in the chair watching the screen, i noticed that the baby was really scrunched (which was why the tech was having a hard time getting good pics), and it looked like the baby had no neck. I was scared and started to freak out inside. I was told that i'd have to come back in for a second ultrasound to check on the baby, to make sure she was growing properly, and try to get some better shots of her upper spine. That was on June 28th.

So on July 21st, I went back in to have a second ultrasound. I felt somewhat calm....but still nervous and anxious. I had left that last appointment really scared and mostly shocked. My other 2 pregnancies I felt like I breezed through, and this one has kind of felt different (for many reasons) from the beginning. Anyways, we (Kevin and I, my family) had prayed a ton and even fasted with my family, and now I was going in for round 2. I was still silently praying everything would be okay and that this little baby girl would be more streched out so that the tech could get the images she needed. I was hoping that her neck and body and mind were all fine and growing healthy and strong...But this baby girl was back in her same position, just turned the other way now! arg! The ultrasound tech went about her business getting as much of the measurments that she could, then i rolled to my side to see if we could get the baby to move some. didn't work. This baby girl was moving (and even had the hiccups) but would just go right back to her same position all cuddled up. 

The tech was super nice and was talking to me the whole time, and letting me know what she was seeing and would answer my questions (not that i had any-i was mostly just asking her what she was looking at or measuring). I noticed she kept hanging around a few different frames, and I asked her what she was seeing that was abnormal. So she started to point them all out to me:

• the baby's spine does something funny at the neck...almost like it is twisted?...the tech said it's super hard to tell what it's doing from the position my baby was in, but it didn't look normal. the good news was that she said it didn't look like spina bifida (and she showed me why).

• the baby's rib cage doesn't look symmetrical. the left looks nice and fine, but the right looks like it is twisting in slightly...maybe because of the spine? the tech was guessing.

• two of the baby's heart chambers were slightly oblong, almost like they were streched as well. all four should be looking more even, the tech said. another guess was because of the spine's weird curvature?

• the baby's stomach is REALLY up close next to the heart....almost like there's a problem with her diaphragm. This is where the tech was confused and worried the most i think. she showed us (Kevin was there too) a pic of the diaphragm, and that it looked sound/no holes, but she doesn't know why it would be up that far. she stated a term-that of course i don't remember right now-about there being a hole in the diaphragm maybe, and that's why it might be doing that? who knows.

After the ultrasound, the doctor came in with no new news. He said he has not seen anything like this and doesn't even know what to think or tell me. He told me that there are some specialists who come up from Utah, to Idaho Falls, to meet with patients up here. He said he'd like me to get an appointment with them and start going to see them, and hopefully we can find some more answers. The doctor also warned us that depending on how this pregnancy goes, I might have to deliver in Utah, at their clinic, so as to be able to be closer to Children's Primary Hospital in case of emergency. That scared me. 

Well it all scares me! I kept my nerves held together while in the office and talking with everyone, but the second I got in the truck I broke down and bawled. Then continued to do so for most of that day. I was basically a big wreck. And I didn't even know what I was crying about. I refuse to look up anything about any of this on Google until we know more. I know doing so would just freak me out more and make this whole thing worse. I called my mom and talked to her about it, which made me feel better. But talking to Kevin made me feel the most at peace. He said something that really touched me:

"It is not crappy news though, this could be the best thing that ever happens to us, you just don't know. You need to look at it with a brighter attitude and be thankful that you're having a child either way. I'm not trying to lecture you I just think neither of us know what the Lord has in store for us so we must be thankful for what we have."

(we had been texting about it because he had had to go to work after the appointment)

Hearing that helped me to calm down a lot. There may be things wrong, but the good news we were told was that her brain looks healthy and normal and like it's developing fine, and her body is growing just fine. She's on the smaller end, but that's normal for me because I have smaller babies. I meet with the specialists on Tuesday, so hopefully we'll be able to learn more there then.

Even though it's been only a few days (or a month from my first ultrasound), this whole experience has definitely been humbling. Lots of more sincere prayers...we'll see what happens!

These pics were taken at 20 weeks.

These two pics were taken around 18 or 19 weeks I think?!

A bathroom selfie outside the track at BYU-I,

right before Nancy and I went running one night.

I think I was like 14 weeks? 15 maybe??

I had Bronx take this pic...hahahaha!

I was maybe 14 weeks?

I'm the worst and have taken no real good pics!

To catch up on this pregnancy:

part 2

part 3