Seeing Blessings and Building Testimonies

This past Sunday during Sacrament, I felt my soul on fire (i'm sure Kevin will make fun of me for using that phrase-love ya babe!...but truth). It felt so alive and so sure of everything around me. I have no doubt that heaven is real, that Jesus is the Christ, and that God is real. I know it. I know the Book of Mormon is another true testament of Christ. It has been given to us in these latter days to find more meaning and purpose in our lives. To seek to understand and grow closer to God through learning and reading of Christ.

Do you know how freaking hard and scary it is to walk up to that pulpit? My heart was pounding and I swear everyone could hear it, but knew I needed to stand up and do it. I was soooo incredibly shaky, but for some reason wasn't nervous inside like I usually get. Despite all of my crazy symptoms, I felt calm and so sure. The other testimonies that were born were also so strong. It was just a great Spirit in the room and everything felt so right.

If there's one thing Kevin and I have gained from going through the past 2.5 months, it's a testimony of service. We feel floored at the love shown from friends and family, but even more so from the acquaintances from church or random people we don't even know. I don't ever want to forget the night, a few weeks ago, when Kevin and I were having a particularly bad day. It was a little over a month past giving birth, and we had had meals stop coming. I wasn't really on top of cooking dinners still, and just was kind of feeling depressed and blah that particular day. Kevin and I had started fighting about something, which turned into a fight about me not cooking dinners lately. I went up to the bedroom crying mad and frustrated because I just wanted Kevin to make dinner and not me. And then, all of a sudden, we both got a text from a lady in the ward. I totally didn't know who it was or anything. But the text said: "Hi! This is Sister ____ from the ward. I would love to bring you guys dinner tonight." boom. Shocked. Totally out of the blue. Right in the middle of a fight about dinner. We were both humbled by her text and immediately knew this sweet sister was prompted to do this for us. The bad spirit instantly was gone from our home, and did a 180. There was peace and calm. Gratitude. I am so, so thankful that she listened to that prompting to serve. I don't know how she got it, but I know that Heavenly Father knew we needed that extra love that night. She was completely His helping hands that night. When she showed up to deliver the home-cooked meal, I was literally choking back tears of gratitude. She had no idea what she had done or was doing for us that night.

There have been several small powerful moments of realization like this for us. Packages and people have shown up at the exact moment we needed to feel loved and cared for. We have been made better people because of this. And we hope that someday when we are in a more stable situation, that we can be the ones giving freely and so generously to those in need. I am also learning to act immediately on simple subtle whisperings of the Spirit. And I've found just doing those acts of kindess are 100% more effective than just throwing the typical "let me know what i can do to help!" phrases out there. No one wants to tell you what to do. I certainly don't like telling people what they can do for me. It's weird and I feel selfish! But when someone just shows up or tell me to pick a day when they'll watch my kids or whatever...those are the moments that help so much. Those promptings that I think seem silly or minor...I listen now ever single time because I know I'm getting them for a reason. Someone needs that text or call or visit today. I will never regret being kind or spreading love, but I will regret not doing those things when called upon.