Sunday Feelings

It's been a few weeks since this actually happened, but I have been wanting to write about it. To start, you've got to know that I love Sundays. I grew up loving them. I had great parents who I look up to that always went without fail. No matter what. You say yes to callings-no matter how intimidating or how much you might hate them. And you grow and those hard callings shape you. You are blessed by those you come in contact with, and others are blessed by you. Even if you might not realize it. Their testimonies, and how they did those little things every day and every week, helped build the foundation of my testimony. I'm so sooooo grateful for them and their examples!

Okay, so this particular Sunday, Kevin was sleeping in (nothing new. hah! however, that detail DID contribute to this story), and I was up with the kids. The kids were fighting more than usual...and i swear they do more on Sunday mornings. I was stressing to get ready, plus get them ready. We ended up rushing out the door, mean words were said, too much fighting, blaming, frustration...and I just got to church wanting to punch the first happy person that i ran into. It was terrible, I know.

As I sat fuming on the bench, I knew I needed to calm the heck down. I hated HATED feeling this way, and I knew it was dumb for me to be holding onto a stupid argument. I almost scoffed out loud when the opening song was announced: There Is Sunshine in My Soul Today (#227). Like, this type of coincidence only happens in movies. Not to me. I usually love singing the hymns, but this day I just sat there staring blankly at the hymn book. Ignoring my kids. Letting Kevin deal with them. Still so angry and not wanting to give in to peace and the Spirit of the Sacrament. I sat and glanced at the faces around me and across from me. Did they have a rough morning? Were their kids especially rotten on Sundays? Did their husbands sleep in? Did they feel like they were doing everything?

When the talks began, I didn't feel like listening. But slowly I started to. They were on happiness, of all things! Something that I had been struggling with that day and that week. Finding my happy now. Choosing to be happy even if you are going through a crappy day or week or month or year. I can't pin point exactly what it was that made me change, and i'm afraid that might be because it's taken me so long to write about, and now i've forgotten! But my heart was softened as I listened. And I was able to leave Sacrament that day with a smile and a better heart than when I walked in. 

In case you are wondering, I've since really, reaaaallly lowered my expectations for Sundays, as far as the kids go. I don't stress so much about getting them ready and Kevin has been helping more with them. Maybe I should just blame pregnancy hormones?....hahaha but i know better! Also, I wanted to share my feelings on this because I want you to know our life is not always sunshine and rainbows. I love to document those things waaaaay more than our tough times, that's for sure, but these rough days need to be documented too.