me.
that's who.
I am the worst mom ever.
So last night,
right after that kitchen picture{below} was taken actually,
I went to put part of our dinner in the oven.
{yes, it's THAT bad peeps-prepare for tears}
Well I had B in his carrier,
and like I always do-I twisted it to the side so he'd be safe.
yeah...."safe".
I leaned in-again, I even {in my head} told myself to stand back as far as I could,
and pushed the sheet in.
I then heard the saddest cry known to man.
It broke my heart and I thought the heat or something had scared him.
But he kept crying that sad cry so I took him out of the carrier and tried to comfort him while looking all over his head and legs to see if they had a burn mark.
I didn't see anything and he calmed down,
so I fed him his bottle and forgot about it.
Kevin came home from work,
we dished up,
and I sat down on the floor next to B.
As I took my first bite B started being all cute and flailing his arms and cooing.
And that's when I saw it.
The big ugly mark that made me lose it.
I could not stop bawling.
I felt sick.
Kevin kept telling me that it's okay and that he's fine,
but I totally didn't believe him.
So what I realized is that his little arms are usually tucked in by his body,
but yesterday his left arm had been out and I didn't see it.
It obviously touched the top of the oven door and got.....{gulp}.....burned.
As soon as I saw it {while still crying my head off} I ran and got an ice cube and started icing it.
B didn't even cry when I did that - he actually kept smiling while I did it.
{which made me cry more}
HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID??!!!!!!
HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?!!!!
HOW.COULD.I.BE.SO.STUPID.
HOW COULD I?!!!!
Needless to say,
that precious little dude will NOT be joining me in the kitchen anytime soon.
 |  |  |
Waking up in the middle of the night to this face made me feel slightly better.
I've been putting neosporin on it all day,
and praying it heals completely.
I can just see it turning into a scar and having my little boy tell everybody:
"Oh my mom? Yea she burned me."
...and cue more tears...
I've been putting neosporin on it all day,
and praying it heals completely.
I can just see it turning into a scar and having my little boy tell everybody:
"Oh my mom? Yea she burned me."
...and cue more tears...
We all have those moments, when you feel like the worst mom in the world. I had one just a couple days ago when Chloe had a temperature of 102 and I had no clue until she came and sat in my lap and I realized how hot her head was. The whole day I was angry at her because she was being so whiny and it was just because she was sick. I felt like such a horrible and mean mom. We all live and learn. You are doing great, don't worry about it.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't a bad mom! These types of things happen to everyone! I think you'll be surprised at how fast little babies heal. I'm sure he'll be better in no time at all!
ReplyDeleteAww you poor thing! You're not a bad mom at all, I promise! One time I was cutting Jaces finger nails when he was just a month or two old (in the dark.. stupid, I know) and I cut a HUGE chunk out of his finger and it bled for days. I cried and cried and felt like the worst mom ever. But he healed up within a week and everything was fine and I'm sure your little guy will heal quickly too! Babies are so resiliant!:) But I totally know how you feel, you still feel like the worst person ever no matter what anyone says! haha
ReplyDeleteThat's the worst feeling ever. When Mae was a few weeks old I propped her up on the couch, tucking her back into the cusions to be "safe", and ran to the kitchen for my phone or something dumb. I came back in just in time to see her bounce forward and fall off the couch headfirst. She was fine, but as i called the dr. to see what I needed to watch for I was bawling my head off. The nurse was so nice to me and told me I wasn't a bad mom, but that feeling LINGERS! She was fine, thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteI think those things happen to remind us to be watchful so nothing worse happens. You are great!
No worries. Just like everyone else that commented, I have had that moment. I put Tanner on my shoulders and was walking around the house saying to myself, "I'm so awesome. I'm like the best mom ever" when BAM! Smacked his head SOOOO hard on the door frame. Yeah, that cured me quick. Not so awesome of a mom afterall....ha ha
ReplyDeleteI wanted to share my "bad mommy" stories too!
ReplyDeleteClipped his fingernails and cut a chunk out.
At about 6 months, we didn't lower his crib mattress and apparently he was able to climb out of his crib. Still clueless how.
Also while I was Skyping with my sister and mom I put TJ on the middle of the bed to go get a cute hat we'd gotten him. I could hear yelling in the other room, but thought they were just trying to make TJ smile. Apparently they were yelling for me to come back. He had scooted off the bed, head first and they had to watch the whole thing without being able to do anything...
TJ and I were walking next to each other and I had a large laundry basket full of clothes. He was in my way and I just ran into him a little so we could both fit through the door. He fell and hit his head on the bed frame and got 4 stitches above his eye.
There will be more. And every mom has those moments. But it does suck and you feel terrible.
Where to start?
ReplyDeleteMy son had to go to ER b/c when I was holding onto his 2 yr old arm :-) he basically became a dead fish and dropped to the ground, so me holding onto the arm gave him "nurse's elbow" or something like that. It took a few days to get back to normal. That was a good feeling.
I think that is my main one. I have blocked out all the others (fingernail clipping, etc).
Being a Mom is hard.
You are a good Mom, don't worry.